in notebook recovery

i've begun the mental recovery of losing my notebook 2days ago. the inclination that it's still somewhere along the canal behind the house haunts me, but just the same i'm trying to take my loss in stride and learn my lesson. the loss is crushing for a variety of reasons and those of you who carry understand what i'm talking about. beyond the facts that i was literally on the last page of the book and that i just had the mind the other day to finally digitise some of the work i'd laid between it's pages; this was the book that travelled europe with me last summer (a huge deal for me) and after filling and filing notebooks for years, suddenly losing 1 feels somehow like i've lost a volume to the chronicles of my life. i am flooded with awful thoughts of someone getting a free look into the pages of my mind; their disgusting hands gripping at the last year of my life, thumbing through my thoughts, smudging my memories, laughing at their own misunderstanding -- i can only hope it got washed away, tucked beneath a rock deep at the bottom of the canal by a gator who recognises its worth, or simply that whomever discovers it disgards it as quickly, trashing it before examining my intellect and judging my invention.

the economics of happiness

this trailer led me to isec which is worth a click, so check it out.

also check out trailers for even the rain, carbon nation, and i am. amazing works, it appears, continuing to convince a change in thought and lifestylfe through film.

the sum of all

i'd previously told you to read an article about nueroscientist david eagleman. if you read the article than you might recall the mention of one of eagleman's books entitled sum: forty tales from the afterlives which explores 40 beautifully imaginative potential afterlives; each a mirror of ourselves - examining humanity and the human condition. i was intrigued, so i picked up a copy that i've read it 3times and have become a believer of eagleman with full intentions of reading the rest of work. here is some of sum:

Ineffable

When soldiers part ways at war's end, the breakup of the platoon triggers the same emotion as the death of a person -- it is the final bloodless death of the war. This same mood haunts actors on the drop of the final curtain: after months of working together, something greater than themselves has just died. After a store closes its doors on its final evening, or a congress wraps its final session, the participants amble away, feeling that they were part of something larger than themselves, something they intuit has a life even though they can't quite put a finger on it.

In this way, death is not only for humans but for everything that existed.

And it turns out that anything which enjoys life enjoys an afterlife. Platoons and plays and stores and congresses do not end -- they simply move on to a different dimension. They are things that were created and existed for a time, and therefore by the cosmic rules they continue to exist in a different realm.

Although it is difficult for us to imagine how these beings interact, they enjoy a delicious afterlife together, exchanging stories of their adventures. They laugh about good times and often, just like humans, lament the brevity of life. The people who constituted them are not included in their stories. In truth, they have as little understanding of you as you have of them; they generally have no idea you existed.

In may seem mysterious to you that these organizations can live on without the people who composed them. But the underlying principle is simple: the afterlife is made of spirits. After all, you do not bring your kidney and liver and heart to the afterlife with you -- instead, you gain independence from the pieces that make you up.

A consequence of this cosmic scheme may surprise you: when you die, you are grieved by all the atoms of which you were composed. They hung together for years, whether in sheets of skin or communities of spleen. With your death they do not die. Instead, they part ways, moving off in their separate directions, mourning the loss of a special time they shared together, haunted by the feeling that they were once playing parts in something larger than themselves, something that had its own life, something they can hardly put a finger on.

-- david eagleman.

(i hope he doesn't mind me sharing)

i love the idea of the atoms that compiled you mourning the loss of you because i believe in science and the laws of energy. each microbe of energy, each atom that composed you is never destroyed, simply transferred from your body to something else.

so ineffable is great and each purposed afterlife is as intuitive as the next, leaving you to think about your own being and your own mortality. read sum. i'm sure you'll enjoy.

prisencolinenscinainciusol

italian musician adriano celentano. the lyrics you hear are in english and you can get the subtitled version on youtube, though celentano's intension was to speak gibberish so the lyrics don't make any sense and the music+video speak well without translation. in fact, i think the translation takes away some of the luster. enjoy.

suheir hammad

i could probably post everything i watch on ted, but she really reached me this morning. absolutely beautiful words. enjoy.

infinite credit

the united states of america functions like a video game. infinite credit is a good thing; the more credit you have the longer you can play, and when you get tired of playing you can just walk away. credit; ie. debt is dumb. why is someone in debt more trustworthy than someone who is debt-free? shouldn't someone who pays everything and owes nothing be more reliable than someone who is already financially behind? in the wonderful us of a; a country full of video gamers, there is a debt problem. we watched the government bail out the banks before they failed to save the housing market from destruction because for decades people have been requesting and receiving huge loans for homes they'd never be able to afford. of course, the banks jumped at the opportunity to loan people more money than they could ever pay back because it meant the banks would make great profits on the accrued interest and if/when the home-owners eventually foreclosed, the bank would win again. unfortunately, the banks never expected people to be selfish+irresponsible enough to simply walk away from their bad investments and didn't have the foresight to see what would happen when those millions of ridiculously hefty loans didn't get paid. as a result, the government bailed out freddie, fannie and the nation's largest banks by barrowing trillions from foreign countries and increasing the national debt to an unfathomable number so high that it will only ever be paid with blood; not money. for years i've been saying that the housing market collapse would be a minor scratch compared to the credit card debt the nation faces. look at this report listing the top ten most debt ridden cities in the country where cities with an average of about 180,000 households each owe approximately $1billion+ in credit card debt. how will that debt be paid? likely not by the people who owe it. even more staggering figures from creditcards.com suggests that as of march 2010, the us's total revolving debt which comes almost entirely from credit cards is $852.6billion off of nearly 610million credit cards nationwide. furthermore they claim that given those approximate numbers the average credit card debt per credit card debter is $15,688. there is a debt problem in this country. the united states is not in an economic recovery. there will be another, deeper bottom when the nintendo stops working altogether and sadly, it seems it's far too late to pull out the game and blow. take a deep breath. the kids are gonna flip out!

vivian maier

i was introduced to this story from a fellow photographer and was immediately blown away. it's always nice to see amazing photography, but i admire ms. maier because she shot simply because she loved to; because she loved to capture the beauty of the life around her. those motives remind me of a better version of me that used to shoot constantly - i'd like to get back into that. sadly, i think the magnitude of this photography find will never be reached again. the digital influence has made photography so much more accessible. there is so much lost in translation between the digital image on your computer screen where you can search through hundreds an hour, and the 20x30 image hanging on your wall which demands more attention and a studying of its composition. storage+printing of a digital image is easier, while storage+development of film (which nikon no longer makes) takes care, patience and knowhow. perhaps one day someone comes across a dozen external hard drives full of beautiful imagery, but will those images be 'developed' and hung in museums? or will they simply end up on flickr? is vivian maier the last great photographer? probably not. but she may be the last one the world will ever hear about.